The Hidden Styles of Change—And Why They Matter
We all have a way we move through change—fast or slow, deep or surface, big or incremental. Understanding your style might change everything.
What’s Your Style of Change?
We all go through change. But we don’t all go through it the same way.
Some people leap. Some linger. Some touch the surface. Others go to the core.
We each have a pattern—a style of change that feels more familiar, more natural. But we often don’t notice it until we hit friction.
Maybe you’re moving fast when the moment calls for stillness.
Or you’re going deep when a light touch would do.
When we understand our preferred change style, we gain a kind of self-awareness that helps us choose. Not just react. And we give ourselves more flexibility when supporting others through change, too.
Below are three distinctions I use in coaching to help clients reflect on their natural tendencies. None are better or worse—each has value. But they do carry different risks, especially if overused or applied in the wrong context.
Fast or Slow
Some of us like to move quickly. We enjoy momentum, iteration, and decisive action. Fast change is energising. It helps us outpace resistance.
Others prefer a slower pace—one that allows space for meaning-making, integration, and emotional processing. Slow change is grounding. It gives us time to sense and adapt.
When overused:
Fast changers can bypass grief, ignore resistance, or overstep readiness.
Slow changers can get stuck in reflection, miss windows of opportunity, or hold back when the moment calls for boldness.
Try asking:
What pace does this situation really need?
Am I going faster (or slower) than the system can handle?
Big or Small
Some change feels sweeping. A total reinvention. We take bold steps, draw lines in the sand, or make grand commitments. Big change helps us feel a sense of significance.
Other change is incremental. Small, steady shifts that build over time. It helps us sustain progress and notice nuance.
When overused:
Big changers can burn out, destabilise systems, or struggle with follow-through.
Small changers can avoid risk, underplay their vision, or miss chances for transformation.
Try asking:
What scale of change is really needed here?
Am I drawn to big/small because it serves me—or because it feels safer?
Surface or Deep
Surface change focuses on behaviours, habits, and systems. It’s visible, trackable, and easier to measure.
Deep change looks at identity, purpose, and belief. It’s often invisible, but profoundly affecting.
When overused:
Surface changers can stay performative, ignoring root issues or emotional truth.
Deep changers can get caught in introspection, never quite making the outer shift.
Try asking:
What kind of shift is actually needed?
Am I focusing at the right level for this moment?
These distinctions aren’t fixed types. Think of them more like lenses you can swap out.
Your strength might be fast, big, deep change. But if you’re stuck, or supporting others, it might be time to slow down, go small, or stay on the surface just long enough to stabilise.
The power is in the pause—when you notice how you usually change, and choose what serves you now.
Let’s turn this into a conversation:
Do you recognise your default style?
Where have you seen it help you? Where has it held you back?
What might become possible if you played with another mode?
I’d love to hear your reflections in the comments.
This piece is part of the “Inner Work for Outer Change” series on Conversations That Count. If this stirred something in you, you might also enjoy the companion piece: “Are You Noticing What You’re Not Noticing?”